August 19, 2020

My Heart (still) Weeps...Part 2

Pamela S Thibodeaux

Inspiration Behind the Book: In 2010 I remarked to a gentleman how much I appreciated him. “I feel your love for me through every fiber of my being and my heart weeps because I’m just not ready….”


Fun (and not so fun) facts about My Heart Weeps:

My Heart Weeps parallels my journey through grief after my husband’s death in 2009. This book actually took about eight (8!) years to complete – it was just too up-close and personal to get through all at once.

Yes, there really is a Utopia, TX. About 30 miles North/West of Bandera and as Melena works at the Crossed Penn Ranch in Utopia, I lived and worked at the Silver Spur Ranch in Bandera. SSR is not an “artists retreat” but a guest ranch. I worked in housekeeping and in the kitchen and even as a drag (back up) wrangler on trail rides.

The descriptions of the area are pretty accurate and drawn from memory. I’ve actually hiked in the Lost Maples Natural Area.

Deer are prominent in the Hill Country, especially rural areas like Bandera and Utopia. It is not unusual to see a huge herd in your yard. I’ve even seen children playing chase with them!

Horseback riding is one of my favorite things to do when possible. There really is nothing more soothing than the clip-clop of hooves on rock. Try it sometime.


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PS: I’m sure many are wondering what happened to the gentleman mentioned in Inspiration Behind the Book – that relationship lasted about a year and a half and not only showed me I could love again, but encouraged me to do so. After a couple of years of being single (which I abhorred) I’ve been in a relationship for 6 years now. Even though you may learn to live again -and even love again- after losing your soul mate, I’ve found (for me anyway) your heart is never quite the same. 


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