August 18, 2020

My Heart (still) Weeps…..

Pamela S Thibodeaux 

In my post, How to Write When You’re Frozen Inside, I mentioned a few things I did to help keep my writing career alive when I was unable to do much actual writing due to my husband’s death in 2009. If you read that article, you’ll note that, although I had several projects published, I didn’t write anything brand new, start to finish, until 2016. Keri’s Christmas Wish was written in five weeks, edited, and published within a couple of months. Then…..


Fast forward to 2019.

For the past year or so, I focused on writing short stories for a popular Women’s magazine to no avail. Most have been recycled into free reads for my newsletter subscribers. I’ve managed to write pretty regularly for a local news magazine, and I’ve started publishing my backlist in audio. I am staying active in my career, but still no progress on novels or novellas for the general market. I just can’t seem to get in the groove or mood to write consistently much less write romance.

Until May...

Eight authors and I gather in Meade, OK for a writing retreat. I decided I would pick one WIP and concentrate on finishing it. I had 3 to choose from. My Heart Weeps had the largest word count so I determined I would finish this book. If not during the week-long retreat, soon after.

Since this book is about one woman’s journey through grief into new life and the possibility of new love and parallels my own, I knew I had a rollercoaster of emotions to get through in order to write this story as effectively as it should be told. Many times, I took a break just to get my emotions under control or read aloud a scene or passage and left not a dry eye amongst my writing partners.

They say writing is cathartic and I can attest to this. Although I didn’t complete the project until June or July of 2019 and it’s taken another year to get it up for publication, finishing this book has opened the floodgates to my creativity. Since uploading the preliminary files to Amazon in May (2020), I have completed a second novella which will be published later this year and am steadily working on a third.

It's been eleven years today since my beloved passed away and although I’ve moved forward (I don’t feel we ever completely “move on”) and am living life to the fullest, my heart still weeps.

I guess it always will.

Blurb: After thirty years married to the man of her dreams, Melena Rhyker is devastated by her husband's death. Relief comes in the form of an artist's retreat at the Crossed Penn ranch in Utopia, TX. She rediscovers a forgotten dream as her artistic talent flourishes into that of a gallery-worthy artist. Will she have the courage to follow the path she was destined to travel?

Garrett Saunders has been on the run most of his life. Abused and abandoned as a child, he escapes the clutches of a past filled with pain and shame and hides from his calling as a Native American healer. His years as a CIA agent aid in overcoming his childhood and honing his talent and skill as a fine art photographer. 

Follow their journey as two people who come from totally different backgrounds, but share gifts of gigantic proportions, find meaning and purpose in the Texas Hill Country.


 Award-winning author, Pamela S. Thibodeaux is the Co-Founder and a lifetime member of Bayou Writers Group in Lake Charles, Louisiana. Multi-published in romantic fiction as well as creative non-fiction, her writing has been tagged as, “Inspirational with an Edge!” ™ and reviewed as “steamier and grittier than the typical Christian novel without decreasing the message.” Sign up to receive Pam’s newsletter and get a FREE short story!



  1. Thank you so much Suite T for hosting me and My Heart Weeps today. We're on blog tour through 9/30 and I'm giving away LOTS of prizes! Folks who want to follow the tour can find the details and tour stops here:

    Comments left on this post will be included in the giveaway.

    Good luck and God's blessing to ALL

  2. Pam, thanks so much for sharing your journey. The book sounds amazing. Blessings to you

  3. Pam, wishing you continued success!

  4. I so enjoy reading the story behind the story, though yours was a painful one. Blessings to you, Pam!

  5. THANK YOU, Carol, DiAnn and LoRee for dropping by. I truly appreciate your support!

  6. Pam,

    I appreciate your heartfelt novel.

  7. Pam, I am sorry for your loss, but so glad you allowed God to use that painful experience in a positive way. Thank you for sharing your story.

  8. Thank you Jacqueline and Karen. I pray My Heart Weeps gives hope to those suffering the loss of a spouse or loved one.

  9. Replies
    1. Hope you enjoy the story, Kara.
      Thanks for stopping by!

  10. Having fun following you around on this tour! I wanted add something I heard... "You will always carry this burden. Time will make your back stronger." in regards to losing someone.

  11. What a wonderful quote Emmaline!
    I'm glad you're enjoying the tour.
    Thanks for your support!

  12. How wonderful for you to take your own emotional heartache and allow God to redeem it so others can benefit. Way to go, Pam!

    1. I pray My Heart Weeps does jut that, Mary!
      THANKS for stopping by!

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