You never
know what moment could turn out to be a turning point in your life. For me it
was an ordinary Thursday afternoon. Finished with my classes for the day, I had
walked to a field nearby for a friendly game of flag football – Baptist
seminary students versus Presbyterians. These games were a favorite part of my
weekly routine.
This
particular game day, the first of the new school year, brought several
new faces. After the game, as the gang gathered at Friendly’s for dinner, I sat
across from one of the new guys. He ordered a root beer and a root beer float, revealing his whimsical streak. I liked him
right off, but I had no idea that in less than two years, I’d be married to
him.
At that
point in my life, I was struggling mightily with insecurity and depression.
Despite my place in seminary and my desire to be part of the presence of God in
others’ lives, I couldn’t recognize God’s presence in my own life. I was achingly
lonely and afraid of my own imperfections. I had a knack for making bad
decisions and my dating relationships, what few there were, tended to be
unhealthy. I saw myself as damaged, broken, and defective.
Somehow, the
guy with the root beer and the root beer float didn’t see me that way; he saw
somebody he wanted to love. And when I realized that (somebody had to point it
out to me, actually), the turn in my life that began on the flag football field
finished rounding the corner.
Much of what
I know about God’s love I learned from “Big Boy” (his affectionate nickname on
my blog). He didn’t judge my bad decisions. He didn’t look away in disgust or
even get squeamish when I was sick. If he ever noticed my imperfections, he
didn’t let on – he certainly never pointed them out. He was comforting. He was
generous. He was thoughtful. He was steady. He gave of himself, without making
any demands in return. He was a spigot pouring out God’s love in a world that
seemed desolate and dry.
Now we’re
approaching our tenth wedding anniversary, and he still is all those things,
and more. If it’s true that people who are married a long time start to look
like each other, I hope my heart is beginning to look like his.
_______________________________________
Julie Ball
is a professional wife and mother in Memphis, Tennessee. In her spare moments,
she is pursuing her call to ministry and her love of writing. Julie shares her
life and her thoughts on her blog, Meeting God in Memphis.
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