by Gary Fearon, Creative Director
Yesterday
here in Suite T, Doyne made the great point that when frustrated it helps to
determine the actual source of our frustration. Narrowing it down to the real
cause helps us to avoid the red herrings and get right to the root of the
problem.
I have less than fond memories of a coworker from years ago who
was particularly abrasive. Nobody liked to see this salesperson coming, because
when she approached it always meant she had a problem and demanded that you fix
it. While she was not a superior, in my position at the time I was one of the
main fixers, so I had no choice but to recreate a project, placate one of her
difficult clients, or put out some kind of fire. Basically, her appearance at
your door meant a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day ahead.
Since she only came around every couple of weeks or so, it
took some months before I decided something had to be done about it, and
analyzed the situation. Prior to this I thought the problem was the extra work
she created. But in truth, the work – while time-consuming – was not the real
issue, since that was my job. What made it so unpleasant was the atmosphere
caused by her high-maintenance personality. It made everyone involved uptight
and fostered a negative, burdensome attitude toward the task ahead.
The work would still have to be done; no way around that.
But my own attitude about it could change, especially if I could minimize the
effect this person was able to have on me. And the best way to do that was to diffuse
her demanding demeanor.
I managed to do that by responding to her next request not
with the congenial resignation I started out with, nor the ‘why are you always
a problem’ look it had developed into. Instead, I joked with her, made light of
the situation, and handed her an invisible shovel for the early grave she was
determined to send me to. Almost immediately her approach lightened, my
attitude improved, and our future encounters of funny and friendly sparring
actually became something we learned to enjoy.
When we become frustrated with our writing – and it happens
– it’s good to analyze the real cause and see what can be done to change that
part of it. Stuck on a scene? Tell it to take a hike, write the next one,
and come back to the trouble spot later with fresh eyes. Worrying about a looming deadline? Laugh in its face and start writing with a
vengeance. Disappointed because your
social media numbers aren’t close to Stephen King’s? Scoff at statistics and focus on quality
followers, not quantity.
W.C. Fields called it taking the bull by the tail and facing
the situation. It’s not always easy to look trouble in the eye, but when we see
the true face of frustration we’re better equipped to give the problem a kick
in the pants.
