Southern Hospitality: Writers Raising Each Other Up

By Tina Ann Forkner

When I visit my sister in Tennessee, I love spending time browsing the shops in Franklin. Not only are the shops adorable with flowers spilling over on the sidewalks and air conditioning to welcome you inside, but the people make you feel as welcome as a cool glass of lemonade on a hot day. You just can’t hang out in the South without being blessed by all that Southern hospitality.

What if the writing world were the same way? What if we showered fellow authors with something that would look a lot like Southern hospitality? On the most part I think we do, but I wonder how often we who are farther along in our careers forget what it’s like to be a new writer. Of all the professions a person could choose, being a writer can be the loneliest.

I remember being that person who sat alone on the first day of her first writing conference. The first time a published writer sat at my table, I thought I might pass out. She even wanted to talk to me, which made me feel welcome and like I might really belong at that conference. I’m still grateful for that author who showered me with hospitality at her table, much the same way the folks in Nashville shower visitors with Southern hospitality.

Here are five ways that all writers can practice a little bit of Southern hospitality and raise each other up:

Offer Encouragement: Southerners always say the nicest things, even to people they don’t know. Whether you are far into your writing career or brand new, there is always somebody who could use a word of encouragement when it comes to writing. This could be as small as a kind reply to a social media status or as big as reaching out to them in an email. Face to face, it might mean sitting at a table of less experienced authors instead of with our usual groups, or asking another author how their writing is going. These things all seem small, but to another writer, they might mean the world.

Invite Someone to Your Writing Group: Southerners love to invite you over for supper. We can do the same in our writing communities. Writing Groups are complex and most of us resist shaking up that chemistry, but you never know when someone new will infuse life into the group, or what kind of writer that person will turn out to be. I wrote poetry in college, and I will never forget when a group of published Sacramento poets invited me to be part of their critique group. Being part of that group didn’t make me a famous poet, but it grew me as a writer and affects my fiction even today. Invite another writer to your group, or just offer to buy them a cup of coffee.

Don’t Step On Someone Else’s Dream: I can’t even count the ways in which I’ve witnessed other writers inadvertently stomp on someone else’s dream. In today’s publishing world, there are so many different ways to succeed as a writer and no way is wrong. Even if their publishing journey is not your glass of iced tea, listen to what the other writer has to say about it and try to say something nice about their goals. If I listened to some of the advice from naysayers in my writing life, I would’ve quit years ago. 

Promote Other Writers: People in the South are always bragging about how great Southerners are. They are just so proud! Writers need to do the same thing. We can brag about other writers and the writing world. This is something I feel very passionate about. I’m part of a group called Tall Poppy Writers and we actively support each other. We don’t only support other Tall Poppy Writers, but we support and promote writers who are not in our group. Take a look at the writers you are connected with in life and on social media. How can you lift them up?

Introduce Writers to Other Writers: Southerners don’t know a stranger, so be a friendly writer and make sure all your writing friends know each other. Sure, we writers sometimes have connections we don’t want to share with anyone, but we can look for times when introducing one contact to another would be a good idea. One of my best writing friends introduced me, via email, to my publisher. If she’d been stingy with her introductions, I might still be looking for a publisher.

These are just a few of things we as authors can do to enrich the lives of other writers and spread a little Southern hospitality. I find that the writing world is by and large very accepting of others, but it never hurts to add a little more sweetener here and there to brighten another writer’s day and give them a step up.

Happy Writing!

________________________________________________________________________________

Tina Ann Forkner is a substitute teacher and award-winning author of multiple novels including her newest release The Real Thing. Her novel, Waking Up Joy, is a recipient of the Virginia Romance Writers HOLT Medallion Award of Merit for Romantic Elements. Tina is also a proud member of Tall Poppy Writers and Women’s Fiction Writers Association. Learn More: www.tinaannforkner.com

Being True To The Writer Within

By Tina Ann Forkner

"This above all: to thine own self be true,
And it must follow, as the night the day,
Thou canst not then be false to any man.
Farewell, my blessing season this in thee!"

~William Shakespeare, Hamlet

My parents weren't into quoting Shakespeare when I was growing up, but the advice Polonius gave to Laertes is essentially the same advice they gave to me. I can think of dozens of examples in which their wisdom served me well over the years, but I haven't always followed it to the letter T.  Kids have to find their own way, right? Now that I'm an adult and I find myself giving the same advice to my own children, it's hard not to think about the times I didn't follow my heart.

The funny thing is, I was never a follower in school, so it's not like I planned to let anyone else influence me in a negative way. I simply wanted to be a writer; a great writer. I was looking for a way to write better. When I first let someone else's opinion shape me, I didn't even realize it was happening. Maybe it was the first devastating review I ever received or maybe it was someone giving me advice they thought would make me more marketable. I can't remember, but I know I stepped just far enough away from my heart that I would regret it later. Luckily, there were others who stepped in to lift me up. Those encouraging mentors, including my parents, told me to follow my heart.

Ignoring your compass in order to please others never ends up pleasing anyone. Accepting advice is one thing, but when you start bending your dreams to suit the definition that others give you, it still won't make the others happy. Instead of respecting who you are, they will enthusiastically continue to refine their definition of you - and your work, if you are a creative person - until you no longer recognize yourself.

Even as I've tried to maintain the purity and passion of writing what was in my heart, there was a time in my publication journey in which I wondered where I fit into the writing world. It didn't help when I sat at writer's conferences and heard things like, "literary writing equals no sales," or "don't write in first person." Those kinds of statements were not directed at me, of course, but they attacked my writing style and my confidence. Once, when my second contracted novel was still being written, a freelance editor told me, "you have to be a really great writer to do that, so you can't." If you want to see a young novelist falter, those are the kinds of things you should say to them.

Thankfully, I'm not as young as I once was (Isn't that a country song?). Maybe turning forty changed me, but in both writing and in life, I think I am finally comfortable being who I am. Perhaps where I fit in remains to be seen, but wherever I end up, I know I'm following my heart in my writing. I can't write anyone else's brand. I have to write my own. I'm writing what I want, loving what I'm writing, and feeling good about it. It's amazing to feel the shackles break open with each realization that I only succeed at my writing, and everything else, when I'm true to myself.

I wonder how many young novelists and aspiring writers out there are letting others hold them back. Some of you are probably reading this and thinking, "Yes, that's me." It is especially difficult when the people pushing you back are people you admire and people who are supposed to be teaching and mentoring you on your journey. They probably don’t mean to stifle you, but sometimes writers inadvertently hold other writers back with rules.

Sometimes the solution is to find a new mentor or teacher, but all too often, the only person holding us back from being all we were created to be, is ourselves. It might sound cliché, but do what you love, and you will love what you do. Of course, Shakespeare said it best, "Above all: To thine own self be true."

______________________________________________________________________

Tina Ann Forkner’s novel Waking Up Joy is .99 for a limited time. She is also the author of Rose House and Ruby Among Us. A Southern girl at heart, she lives with her husband and children in Cheyenne, Wyoming.  Learn more at www.tinaannforkner.com

To Find Your Voice, Go Back to Your Roots

By Tina Ann Forkner

          

“Roots are not in landscape or a country, or a people, they are in you.” – Isabel Allende

Some of the best stories in literature have been born out of locations that the authors not only researched, but also spent a great deal of time in. When an author spends a lot of time in one geographic location, everything about the landscape and culture becomes part of the author. It becomes part of their voice. It is as if, instead of the author’s roots going deep into the area, that area’s roots go deep into the author.

As an example, my first two novels were set in the California wine country. I live in Wyoming, but prior to moving there, I attended college in Sacramento where I lived for five years, spending every other weekend in the Sonoma Valley. After spending so much time immersed in the area’s culture, it was second nature to set my novels there. So you might be thinking that I must have found my voice in writing about California, but when it was time to write my third novel, my voice kept turning into a rural country girl. I recognized her. She was from my home town

I grew up in the northeastern corner of Oklahoma, just a few miles from both Arkansas and Missouri. I have family scattered all around that three state area and for me, the landscape, the culture, the simple way of southern living all draw me back to visit year after year. Summers filled with creeks, iced tea, strawberry short cake, cool lemon meringue pie, and blissfully long days of climbing trees and picking wildflowers are the things I talk about most to my children. I can’t even tell you about it here without waxing sentimental, but after I got California off my mind, I decided it was time to write about the place that kept calling me home.

When I started writing my latest novel, Waking Up Joy, which is set in northeastern Oklahoma, it was as if the story just flowed out of my fingertips. Not that it was easy, because writing never is, but when it came to inspiration, it was right there. I only had to reach into a well of experiences that were easy to shape into fiction. 

When I finished Waking Up Joy, a writing friend asked me how I came up with that place. I couldn’t really explain it to her. It was just inside of me, although the part about the medieval charms concealed in an Inglenook chimney came from something I heard about while living in England. So you see? That’s just another example of how where you’ve spent time gets inside of you, and eventually into your stories. That’s how you find your voice.

____________________________________________________________________ 

Tina Ann Forkner is a Women’s Fiction writer and the author of Waking Up Joy, releases, today. She is also the author of Rose House and Ruby Among Us. While she was born and raised in Oklahoma, lived in England, and attended college in California, Tina makes her home in Cheyenne, Wyoming with her husband, three teenagers, and two spoiled dogs. Learn more about her and her books at www.tinaannforkner.com