Kim M. Clark
The pixels on my
computer screen taunted me. Looking over my manuscript that needed to be
rewritten, again, I cried out to God. “This is too hard. You’ve called
the wrong person to write this book. I don’t even know what a passive verb is!”
Tears streamed down my cheeks. The task of writing, re-writing, and editing my soon-to-be-published
book brought me to an ugly place. I had no idea how time-consuming, emotionally
taxing, and exhausting it would be to write a book when I had first agreed to
be God’s scribe.
Silence.
My shoulders
slumped. I whimpered, “God, what if these words of comfort you’ve given me are only
for me and my family and they’re not meant to be published? Maybe they were meant
to console and help us lift our gaze to you as we walked through our trial?
What if I heard you wrong, and I’m not meant to record your words in a book?”
The response from
God: deeper stillness.
I exhaled a loud,
weary-laden sigh.
Since first grade,
I struggled with the task of putting together a string of words that made
sense, let alone enticing the reader into my world with some sort of
grammatical accuracy. The entire act of authoring a book was beyond my level of
gifting and God seemed to be taking his time developing this skill in me.
My spiritual
tantrum continued. I dropped to my knees. “Okay, God, if you want me to finish
this book, I NEED A SIGN, LIKE RIGHT NOW!” The thud of my fist
pounding on the floor echoed my desperation.
I heard the ding
of an incoming email from my desk as an answer to my meltdown. Groaning, I
lifted myself out of my emotional puddle and I looked at my screen in
irritation. An email preview popped up.
Tilting my head to
one side, I read the blinking message.
Wait, what did it
say? That can’t be right… Disbelief flooded
me.
The subject line
mocked me: “WRITE YOUR BOOK!”
I burst out
laughing. Somehow, for some reason beyond me, God was calling me to
finish writing my book, despite how arduous the task.
That day, I
committed to become a published author, no matter the difficulty, strain, or
work involved. That day, I decided to
truly be God’s scribe, no matter the physical, emotional, or spiritual drain or
cost. That day, I fully submitted my writing to God.
Since receiving that
email, I finished and published my first book, Deep Waters: Lift Your Gaze,
which is now a multiple-award-winning Amazon bestseller. My second book,
Deep Waters: Lift Your Gaze 30-Day Devotional, came out in the
spring of 2020, right along with COVID-19.
In between the
release of those two books, in obedience to the prompting of the Holy Spirit, I
created a non-profit, Lift Your Gaze, where I share my message of hope with the
incarcerated. Now thousands of both of my books (neither of which I
thought I could write) are in prisons and jails across the U.S., proclaiming
the Gospel and Hope of Jesus Christ.
You might be
wondering who sent that email that God used to convict and motivate me to
finish my book. A life insurance company sent that email to encourage former
brokers (like my husband and me) to “write their book of business.” It’s
funny how God can use anything or anyone to accomplish his will even through
his most unwilling and tearful servants.
Permit me to
implore you with the same message I received on that day: “WRITE YOUR BOOK.”
You never know what God is going to do through it and through you.
Kim M. Clark is a multiple-award-winning
author, publisher, and public speaker. She is also the founder of Lift Your
Gaze (www.liftyourgaze.org) where she openly and unabashedly shares her message of hope with
the incarcerated. She and her family live in the sunshine from the perpetual
summer climate of Florida. Kim has run two marathons (with respectable times)
despite the angry protest from her middle-aged knees. You can reach her
directly at kim@kimmclark.com.
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