By R. H. Ramsey
So often, we hear and read about consistency, one of the most
popular phrases of all, is consistency is key.
I struggle with
consistency. At one point, I worked out twice a day, watched what I ate, and
kept a food journal. This went on for years, and I was able to do this, because
I was in a place, emotionally, where I could conceptualize the goal and stick
to it – I knew that I could stick to it.
Now, I am ashamed to say, I have not
worked out consistently in years. It has been sporadic, and it is nothing that
I am proud of. I try not to make excuses, but I do have cluster headaches
almost every day of the week, which seem to wipe me out and leave me with
nothing but fatigue to my name.
When I feel that I am
unable, or do not have the energy to commit, I procrastinate. I disappear. This
applies to friendships, exercise, my eating habits, and school. The only
exception is writing, as ideas come like floods, and if I don't have the time to
work on the story, I know that I can at least jot down notes. Even this, my
note taking process, I realize, is not what I would call consistent; it is more
like organized chaos.
So, what do we do when
energy is low, time is limited, life is demanding, and the things we once
enjoyed are no longer, well, enjoyable?
Here it comes, that word
thrown around so often it's nearly taunting, consistency. But I am not talking
wake up at 5am, work out at 5:30am, eat breakfast before 7am, walk your dog at
8am consistency. I am talking about consistency on an emotional level.
Before I explain, take a
look at this snippet from an excellent article I read on directcreative.com:
“People are driven to be
consistent in all areas of life — in their words, deeds, attitudes, opinions,
beliefs, values, habits, and promises. Once a person makes a decision, takes a
stand, or performs an action, he or she strives to make all future behavior
match this past behavior.
Dieters stick with diet
programs they've paid for, even long after it's clear they don't work. College
students become fanatically loyal to campus societies after they've gone
through difficult and embarrassing hazing. Donors find it difficult to refuse
appeals once they've donated to a cause. Consumers stick with brands they've
bought before, even if they're more expensive.”
More often than not, the
simplest of things inspire me, just like you. And in reading this, even though
the author had a lot more to say on the topic of consistency, I was reminded of
the pressure we put on ourselves and one another to conquer things that get us
nowhere. I thought of our constant need to control and conquer time. Only time
cannot be conquered, and sometimes, there is much more to consistency, than
control.
Here are some of my
ideas, some of the things that work for me, as I work toward paying more
attention to my needs and priorities – and marrying the two.
1. Be conscious of the things you are telling
yourself about this new venture. If you are telling yourself, it is going to be
hard, it is never going to work, it is just to please someone else, or that it
is stupid, work on your self-talk. Before you begin this new routine of
meditating, exercising, writing, taking more pictures, practicing an
instrument, training your voice, or painting – whatever it may be – try
visualizing the results. I write about visualization, often, because for me, it
is equivalent to writing a list or an outline. Visualization is also a great
way to confirm, connect, and build anticipation. We need anticipation
and high-to-reasonable expectations of ourselves.
2. Choose your time wisely. When starting out with
new projects and goals, think about starting small. Many nights, I can write
from the time my children to bed, until between 2 and 5am – five - eight hours
straight. Yet making the decision to hop on the elliptical for an hour may bore
me after 15 minutes, and I will find myself turned off altogether for weeks to
come. What about, keeping your needs in mind, not slacking, making
excuses, or treating the goal as if it is not a priority. Just keep yourself,
your personality, your needs, in mind. Putting pressure on yourself, I believe,
is a sure fire way to make what could be a journey that brings amazing results,
into a chore. And many times, no one wants to be forced to do a chore.
3. If you know that you are trying something you do
not enjoy, or something that is challenging, or deep down, you feel that it is
taking up too much of your free time, find ways to incorporate it in
increments. Think of creative ways to ease yourself into it. Maybe in the
beginning, you implement it “in doses” throughout your day. Devote fifteen
minutes upon rising. Give fifteen minutes to the new routine during your favorite
television show or while sitting outdoors in your solitude. Try diving in,
again, while listening to fifteen minutes of your favorite songs. Then, what
about another fifteen minutes while substituting something that could wait/is a
bit less of priority, to work on your goal. You've got yourself an hour. Not
bad, right? I think an hour is wonderful!
4. Distract yourself: “You don’t need to rely
on your id for everyday decision-making, like whether to order the chicken or
the fish. But if you want to pick like a pro, distract yourself for two minutes
before you deliver a verdict. The most effective distractions are completely
different from the original problem, says J. David Creswell, Ph.D., assistant
professor of psychology at Carnegie Mellon University. His favorite trick to
tune out: turn up your favorite music.” nbcnews.com ~I am a
firm believer in distracting myself. When exercising, I distract myself with
music. While editing and re-writing, I make time to distract myself and enjoy
writing short stories. If I am having a bad day, and I catch myself before the
mood spreads to “If I don't go to bed, soon, I am going to
scream!” I distract myself with things that keep me centered. I think
it's the same with new goals. As funny as it may sound, don't focus so hard on
the hard part.
5. Distract yourself with the outcome; distract
with yourself from the voices that tell you you're going to quit – just like
last time. Because guess what! If you do take a break, you've simply
realized that now is not the time, and if you keep these rules in mind, you
will come back and blow those voices away. For goodness sake! Stop being
so hard on yourself. Everything happens for a reason. Everything happens when
it should. You got this!
Sources: http://www.nbcnews.com/health/distract-yourself-make-better-decisions-1C8695074?franchiseSlug=healthmain and http://www.directcreative.com/influence-and-persuasion-the-rule-of-consistency.html
__________________________________________________________________
R. H. Ramsey has completed
several novels, four novels near completion and five short stories. She
has three self-published books: Just
Beneath the Surface I, Undone,
and Into the Atmosphere, with many more to come. Just Beneath the Surface 2:
Landon's story will be published at the end of 2014. Her books have been
acquired by an indie publisher. Just Beneath the Surface 2: Landon's Story is
her current work in progress.With a passion for people, helping and learning,
she hopes to continue in her quest of learning from and inspiring others.
Connect with RH Ramsey: http://arirjames.wordpress.com and
http://facebook.com/authoranisola
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